Random Ramblings from Random Twins
by Sirius's Daughter
Summary: Fred, George, and a graduated apprentice decide to start a journal that covers their years at Hogwarts! Mainly told through journal entries, one or two chapters are regular.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own anything. BTW, Fred is **bold**, George is **_bold italic_**, Samantha is _italic,_ **underlined** is Fred and George, and _underlined _Samantha and Fred or George.

September 12, 1992

**All right, this is plain out ridiculous! The great Fred Weasley, writing in a JOURNAL! GAH! **

_**It's not just you, mate.**_

_Yeah, Fred! It's also me and George._

**But why are we even DOING this?**

_-sigh- Because, Fred, we have to keep track of our years at Hogwarts!_

_**This Quote Quill rocks!**_

**Don't change the subject, George! …Although it IS pretty cool.**

_Does it rock your socks?_

**WHAT THE CRAP?**

_Erm…muggle term. Never mind._

**That's what I thought.**

_**Yeah, right.**_

_Whatever. Let's get started on our "journal"._

_**First thing: 14 Ways to Annoy, Scare, and Otherwise Torture Ickle Ronniekins.**_

_1: Obviously, call him Ickle Ronniekins._

**2: Turn his teddy into a spider.**

_**Good times… 3: Tell him that, "Drakey-Wakey lurves him."**_

_Why did we do that again?_

**We were bored, remember?**

_Oh yeah._

_**3: Tell him that Pansy is secretly in love with him.**_

**He's really gullible, isn't he?**

_-sarcastic- No, you think?_

**I don't think, therefore I am.**

_**-sniff- So true.**_

_4: Whatever you do, DON'T dare your only friend who's a girl to try to get him to fall for her._

_**Yeah, we did that to you, it took you what… 15 minutes?**_

_12, I was keeping track. He STILL won't stop stalking me._

**-shiver- THAT'S just creepy. 5: Tell him that Dumbldore is actually a Death Eater and that he wants to kill him, and then run. Fast.**

_-sigh- Those were the days…6: Get him drunk, and then play, "Truth or Dare." Even though your mother sent us those exploding Howlers, it was worth it._

_**Remember the looks he got when he frenched Hermione?**_

**Those looks were priceless.**

_7: Charm him to flash green and silver, and sing, "Draco is My King" randomly for a day._

_**Now THAT was a funny idea, Sam. That was when you had just become friends with me and Fred, right? **_

_Yup. Second week of apprenticeship._

**We taught her well, didn't we, Forge?**

_**We're so proud of our little girl. -sniff-**_

_Best lessons I had all year._

**Too true. BACK TO THE LIST. 8: When he's sleeping, mutter things like, "Spiders want you to tap dance" into his ear. **

_I never knew that he could scream that loud, could you?_

_**Nope, and WE'RE his brothers!**_

_I'M the object of his affection! You know, just yesterday he sent me a love note…_

**Third one this week.**

_**9: Steal his diary, copy pages of it, and then tack them up on the Gryffindor notice board.**_

_I STILL have nightmares about that one entry, d'you remember?_

**-shudder-**

_10: Shout, "RON CANNOT HELP HIS LOVE FOR-" then say the name of a girl in the school._

**-evilly- I'll be right back.**

_Where is he going?_

**-**distantly**- RON CANNOT HELP HIS LOVE FOR SAMANTHA!**

_I'll be right back, George. I have to go kill your brother. _

_**We'll continue this list later. SEE YA LATER, PUFFSKIENS!**_

_You mean alligators._

A/N: Ha. I just adore the ending! REVIEW! No flames accepted, it must be in the form of constructive criticism.


	2. Chapter 2

Remember, **Fred, _George, _**_and Sam._

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Okay, now that Fred is out of the Hospital Wing-_

**Ow…**

_**We can continue the list.**_

_Number 11, speak in elfish. Insist that he's just stupid for not knowing, "the coolest language on the face of this earth."_

_**It's that simple, we swear.**_

**Ow…**

_**Number 12, tell him that he has Voldemorts eyes and run.**_

_Fast._

**I call thirteen! -ahem- Number 13, make him sing "Dancing Queen". **

_Have him dedicate it to Mcgonagall._

**And last but not least-**

_**The icing on a cake-**_

_NUMBER 14! It is…have a tea party._

_**Don't invite him.**_

**We SWEAR he'll cry.**

_-sigh- What should we talk randomly about now?_

**Why don't you tell them what you did to me?**

_Whatever. Well, first, I dropkicked him._

_**Then she cursed him into next week.**_

**Literally.**

_It took them awhile to get him back._

_**But it didn't take them a full week to get him.**_

**Yeah, only 3 1/2 days…**

_Hey, it's only half a week!_

**SO! YOU try being cursed into next week and running into your future self! I thought that I was George!**

**Sam?**

**Sa-am…**

_WHY DID YOU BLOODY RUN INTO YOURSELF! YOU COULD'VE SERIOUSLY DAMAGED THE PAST, YOU IDIOT! DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?_

**WELL, I'M SORRY, I'LL TRY HARDER NOT TO FALL ONTO MY FUTURE SELF NEXT TIME!**

_OH, DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP! YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT COULDV'E HAPPENED! YOU COULD'VE DISSAPEARED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH OR SOMETHING!_

**LIKE YOU CARE! ALL YOUR DOING IS SCOLDING ME FOR AN ACCIDENT! ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOU'RE STUPID FUTURE! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME!**

_I NEVER SAID I DID!_

**IT SURE SEEMS LIKE YOU DID! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME OR ANYONE BUT YOURSELF!**

_Is that what you think? -tearfully- That I'm a shallow, good-for-nothing person?_

**Sam, I didn't say-**

_THAT'S WHAT IT NARROWS DOWN TO, AND I HATE YOU!_

-sounds of running and slamming doors-

**Crap.**

_**SMOOTH, Fred. Very smooth.**_

**Oh, just shut up.**

_**Why don't you just apologize to her? I mean, the damage is done and it can't get any worse. Wait, why don't you talk to Bill? You could bring the Quotes Quill with a charm on it, so that you could record the conversation.**_

**Good idea! I'll do that tonight!**

A/N: Yup, finally, a romantic tension between Fred and Sam. PLEASE review!****


	3. Chapter 3

Here's to all my reviewers!

**Frank:** I'll try to make my chappies longer, I swear!

**hypercutie05: **I'm glad that you like it, but so WHAT if I want to keep one story to myself! By the way, Sam is just a character that I made up.

Disclaimer: I STILL don't own HP!

Fred: -fixes Quote Quill Earplug- So, you're SURE that this plan is foolproof?

George: YES, for the fifth time!

Fred: Don't get your pink panties in a twist; I'm just making sure that you won't screw up!

George: -sighs impatiently- Come on, let's do this. Bill said that he gets home at 5:00 and it's -looks at clock- 5:30, so we don't have anything to worry about.

Fred: -sticks his head into the fireplace- -throws Floo Powder- Bill's house!

-sounds of banging and, "Ow!" are heard-

Bill: -mumbles- No, that's all wrong, he miscalculated- -looks up- -jumps- GAH! Fred! What are you doing here?

Fred: Erm…well…you see…

Bill: -nods- Girl troubles, eh?

Fred: -sheepishly- Yeah…

Bill: Buy her flowers and chocolate, kiss her, and tell her that you'll never cheat on her again and that she's the only one for you.

Fred: Actually…I…kinda…screwed up on something.

Bill: Did you yell at her?

Fred: -mumbles incoherently-

Bill: You told her WHAT!

Fred: That she was scolding me for an accident, she only cared about her future, she doesn't know what's best for me, and that she only cares about herself…

Bill: So, in other words you told her that she was a shallow, good-for-nothing person?

Fred: WHY does it seem like I'm the only one who can't paraphrase?

Bill: Don't know. Now, what does this girl look like?

Fred: Well, she has these sparkling hazel eyes with flecks of gold and green in them, and her hair is thick, coppery and curly. She's slim and athletic, but she also loves to read. She just graduated from apprenticeship last year, and she has a temper.

Bill: -scribbles on a piece of parchment- -looks at the parchment- Crap…

Fred: Why don't I like the tone of that?

Bill: Does she look like this? -holds up an amazingly accurate drawing of Sam-

Fred: Crap, yeah!

Bill: When you describe her like that, she sounds like a Mary-Sue-

Fred: HAH?

Bill: A girl with absolutely no flaws whatsoever. Does she have any flaws?

Fred: She's clumsy, she almost always says yes to anything unless she really doesn't want to, she gets zits when she's nervous, and she hits. Hard.

Bill: Okay, she's not exactly a Mary-Sue (A/N: I hope). But by your looks description of her, she could be unavailable within the hour.

Fred: SERIOUSLY?

Bill: Don't tell me you've never noticed! Geezome, Fred, you are seriously blind sometimes.

Fred: Thanks.

Bill: You're welcome. Now, the way I see it is that you let your temper up at LEAST three notches too high, and it got the better of you. I can also tell that there's a little to a lot of…ROMANTIC tension between you two, so you both obviously like each other at least a LITTLE more than a friend.

Fred: Has your brain been washed out? Sam and I are just FRIENDS, you -loud beeping sound- idiot!

Bill: Geezome, Fred, take a chill pill. I'm just stating my opinion.

Fred: -grumbleglareIhateyouBill-

Bill: Here's some advice: when you get back, next time you see her, take her in your arms and promise that you'll never hurt her again and that she'll be safe in your arms.

Fred: Will it work?

Bill: It worked with all the girls I went out with. -raucous laughing-

Fred: Shut up. -pulls head from fire-

A/N: Ooookay, PLEASE TELL ME THAT SHE ISN'T A MARY-SUE I AM TRYING MY HARDEST! No flames are allowed.


End file.
